


Cookies And Cream

by TheonSugden



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Food, Gen, M/M, Mentions of self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 15:26:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3176780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheonSugden/pseuds/TheonSugden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the middle of the night, Aaron and Chas talk over ice cream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cookies And Cream

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write something about Aaron and Chas and how he might be tempted to confide in her about what he's going through.

Sitting around eating ice cream in a dark kitchen made him feel like an old woman, but Aaron preferred it to going back to the empty bed. 

"If Mam could see me now," he muttered just before the lights blasted on.

"FUCK!!" he hissed, dropping the spoon as he shielded his eyes like he was caught in a police raid.

"It’s quarter-to-5, love. You’re lucky I wasn’t Victoria. You’d be tasting pepper spray." 

"Vic’s all loved up now," he sneered, in spite of himself. "Doubt she’d care."

Chas sidled next to him, brandishing a spoon and soon commandeering the rest of the cookies and cream.

"Mmm, good stuff," she interjected before putting the spoon back into the carton and giving him that concerned look he always wanted to bark at. "Is it Adam?"

Aaron rolled his eyes. “Yeah, mum. It’s always Adam.”

He wasn’t entirely sure how much was sarcasm and how much was truth.

"Oh, sweetie," Chas sighed dramatically. "You deserve so much better. He’s had it off with every girl in the village. Even tried it on with me. I knocked him back, of course."

Aaron scrunched up his face, appetite now long gone. 

"Now I’m gonna have another nightmare for sure."

Aaron could hear Chas’ mother radar hone in on that sentence. 

"You’ve been having nightmares?"

Fucking hell did he talk too much. 

_Lie, Aaron. You’ve got so good at it lately…_

"Just one."

Chas looked like he’d told her he’d sawed off his hand.

"Oh, Aaron. I’m so sorry, love. Might…it might help if you talk about it."

Now it was his turn to sigh. 

Why not. It wasn’t like anyone else was going to listen.

"It’s nothing serious, Mum. It’s when I was 9 and Dad took me to Blackpool. We went on the…that big wheel, whatever it’s called. At first…at first I loved it…"

His eyes began to fill with tears before he could stop himself, forgetting that the dream was over, that he wasn’t still sewing it into his skin.

"Then it got faster and faster and…the floor fell out…I started falling and I couldn’t stop…I knew when I landed I’d be dead, but I couldn’t stop…no matter how much I tried…just kept falling and falling…"

He sniffled, ashamed of himself for his weakness as Chas wiped his eyes. She wasn’t supposed to be doing this. He wasn’t supposed to let her. 

"Do you…do you miss your father?" she asked, hesitantly, likely frightened of his saying he did.

He forced out his answer with more than a little bitterness.

"Fuck no."

If he was sure of anything in his life, it was that.

Chas’ stomach unclenched, with Aaron sensing she was far more relieved than she would ever let him know.

"Well…Aunt Desdemona always said life is a lie. Only thing that’s real is our dreams. That’s when we’re our true selves, not…paper constructs, or whatever she called it."

Aaron shook his head, dipping back into the rapidly melting ice cream.

"Wasn’t she the one that got trampled by cows? Bet that woke her up right quick."

Chas paused for a moment, eyes squinted.

"I don’t think so…no. That was Cousin Dandelion. Desdemona is on walkabout. I can try to get ahold of her if you want to do…what do they call it on telly? Dream therapy."

Aaron laughed derisively. 

"That’ll be the day.  _Dandelion Dingle_? Bloody hell. Those cows did her a favor.” 

Chas laughed in spite of herself, nudging Aaron with her shoulder.

"Shame on you." 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, finishing off the ice cream, Aaron knowing Chas was working up to something. 

"Aaron…are you happy?"

One of those awful questions no one could ever have an answer for, Aaron least of all.

"Happier than I have a right to be," he replied, tersely, knowing that wasn’t what she wanted to hear. 

"I’m just…I’m proud of you, son. I know you hate when I say things like that, but you’re stayin’ outta trouble, trying to start a business, you’ve been here for us…and you haven’t…"

"I haven’t carved myself up like a turkey?" he finished for her, regretting it as soon as he saw the pain in her face.

"Yeah," she said, voice wandering off track. "I just want you to be happy. And if there’s anything you wanna tell me, I’m here to listen."

"Really?" 

He was, to his surprise, tempted.

"Yes, son. Cross my heart."

Aaron wished he could confide in her about Robert, about the ever-increasing certainty in his gut that he was falling in love with the absolute worst possible choice yet again, that he was starting to allow himself to hope, and to  _feel_ , and to live, and he knew he was going to crash, and when he did, that no one would be able to put him back together again. 

He wished he could ask her not to call him a hypocrite for hating her every time she’d played away, when he was doing the same, maybe even worse.

He wished he could tell her he was so happy and so scared all at the same time, and he was about to burst because down deep he knew it would all be taken away from him and nothing would be left.

He’d never stop wishing.

"My deep dark secret is that I’m gonna get fat if I eat any more of this, but I’m gonna finish it anyway," he replied.

Chas fixed him with a skeptical look, knowing in that strange mother radar that that wasn’t the full story, but that it was the only answer she’d get.

"Not if I finish first," she taunted, finishing off a big scoop and leaving him with an empty container. "I only did that for your own good, love. Promise."

He shook his head, grinning in spite of himself.

"I hate you." 

"Only ‘til you need your clothes washed."

"Well, yeah. That’s what mums are for."

"Don’t push it, love."


End file.
